Sure, self-care is nice, but have you ever tried self-indulgence?
Scented candles and face masks are cute but what about a hot tub under the stars, skinny-dipping in phosphorescence or riding a galloping horse on the beach? If self-care is setting goals and colour coding your bookshelf, self-indulgence is wild abandon, big adventures and throwing caution to the wind. It is fiercely, unapologetically and wholly committing to indulging in yourself.
I’m not suggesting complete abandonment of your current life and responsibilities (unless you want to), rather I’m encouraging a hard look at priorities, and ensuring that needs and desires aren’t falling to the wayside. Don’t settle for a bubble bath when what you really want is a starlit swim in a hot spring. Self-indulgence is a pinky swear to yourself to prioritize your needs by allowing you to be the priority in your own life.
The intensity of self-indulgence is, of course, subjective because it depends on lifestyle and responsibilities. For some, it's as simple as drinking your morning coffee at the beach and for others, it’s hopping on a plane for two weeks of spa-time in Bali. There is no target level of indulgent activity; rather, there's a target level for indulgent reactivity.
The goal is for release, expression and full exhalation. The intention is that, once familiar with the feeling of release, you will be more prepared to welcome new self-indulgent activities that will lead to further release, exhilaration and fulfillment.
Exhale.
Sleep may not seem all that indulgent but there are few things more powerful than a good night of rest. There is luxury in sleep and something indulgent about cancelling plans in order to go to bed early, allowing yourself to sleep in on the weekends or indulging in the brazen splendour of an afternoon nap.
Sleep is as much an indulgence as it is a necessity, and a sure-fire way to improve your cognitive function, mental health, digestion, mobility and immune system.
Silky sleep: there’s nothing worse than waking up to find that sliver of sunrise shining through the curtains and right across your face. Slipping on a face mask can add a few hours of morning sleep. You can compromise with the scratchy airplane freebie mask that you found in the back of your underwear drawer, or you can indulge in a gorgeous silk slip-on mask like the ones from Dore & Rose (doreandrose.com).
Beautiful bed: one of life’s great pleasures is sliding into a freshly washed set of sheets. That experience is profoundly elevated when the bedding is made from soft linen, waffled cotton or slinky silk. For true indulgence, try Brooklinen (brooklinen.com), where you can even get your sheets in cashmere.
Release.
Freedom and pleasure can be found in activities that, while natural and beneficial, are often considered sinfully indulgent. Studies have shown that engaging in physical touch and delicious food (not necessarily at the same time, but who am I to judge?) can elevate mood and release stress, while boosting overall mental health, clarity and function.
Perhaps it's due to their societal categorization as “naughty,” but all too often, we deny ourselves these pleasures, forgoing the benefits they provide.
Pleasure time: perhaps the most obvious form of self-indulgence is self-pleasure. Utilized alone, or with a partner, pleasure toys are becoming less taboo and as a result, far more practical. Maude (getmaude.com) is a fan-favourite company that is redefining the intimacy essentials market. Its highly rated products are thoughtfully designed and effective. You can order them discreetly from their website or even from mainstream retailers like Sephora and Indigo.
Phenomenal flavour: there is a sensuality and intimacy that comes with beautifully prepared food, and few foods are more indulgent than gorgeous chocolates. In my opinion, there is nothing better than chocolates made by hand. Try your local chocolatier and plan an evening of taste adventures. Or check out Little Sins Chocolate (littlesinschocolate.com) in Victoria, BC, which makes stunning treats that will blow your mind and your taste buds.
Indulge.
Spa holiday: A day or even an hour at the spa can feel profoundly indulgent, in the best way. Melt your tension away with massage, facials, pedicures, wraps and soaks. The relaxation experienced at the hands of a great aesthetician, massage therapist or technician is next level. Even a home spa can do wonders for relaxation, especially if you have the right tools on hand. Eminence Organics (eminenceorganics.com) offers the ultimate in indulgent products and can be used in clinic or home-spa care. These are magic for your skin and smell like a dream.
Great escape: the ultimate in self-indulgence is a full holiday. Treat yourself to a mini or maxi vacation where all that is required of you is to practice all of the above: rest, pleasure, relaxation and indulgence. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find a horse to ride along the beach. You can go to a local resort or fly across oceans, as long as you take up the space you need to recharge.
While self-indulgence may be the brat response to the more demure self-care, sometimes we have to step up and rearrange our priorities to include ourselves. In a world where we are inundated with tasks, deadlines, responsibilities and overwhelm, our self-care has to be more intentional. Self-indulgence may feel, well, selfish, but the ultimate goal is to improve your own capacity and therefore create more ability to fully show up in your own life.
This feature appeared in the November issue of Boulevard Okanagan.